Often, I am reminded that I am clearly the son of theo.
In my book, that's a very good thing. He's a lovely guy. Smart, a real achiever, honest as the day is long and not too bad looking for an old guy. But tonight, my genetic connection rings loud and clear in the form of a low, rhythmic rumble.
In my book, that's a very good thing. He's a lovely guy. Smart, a real achiever, honest as the day is long and not too bad looking for an old guy. But tonight, my genetic connection rings loud and clear in the form of a low, rhythmic rumble.
I am at least 9 inches taller than my dad which is a pretty significant genetic difference. So, why are he and I perfect genetic clones in the snoring department? That would have been another great place to split off the family tree. But no, when I lay on my back just right, I can break glass.
A lot of guys seem to have this problem.
I remember a campout a couple of years ago. During the night, I dreamt that I was walking through the woods and some guy fired up the chainsaw and completely ruined my serenity. I got mad at him but he wouldn't shut it off. This went on for some time untill i faded out of sleep and into reality. Wow. I wanted to shoot myself by the end of the night. I was sleeping next to a good friend of mine who makes my snoring seem like a flute solo. (Yes, Randy, I'm talking about you. Get some help.)
Once I went to the sleep center at the hospital. They tested me all night and said I wake up something like 80 times an hour. I don't remember waking up 80 times an hour. Doesn't waking up mean you are conscious?
Anyway, I asked what we can do about this problem and was surprised to find that, in this day and age, with all of the amazing advances in medicine and technology, their solution was to fit me with a Darth Vader mask that I must sleep in for the rest of my life.
uh, no. How about you just prescribe some morphine for my wife and we'll both be happy.
I'm curious, how do you ladies out there cope with your guy? Sheila's great about it but it can't be the most fun thing she has to deal with.
8 comments:
hahahahaha. poor randy.
Sometimes I can hear you in my room snoring from the floor above.
The darth vader mask shouldn't be too bad.
yes, you do snore but I love you anyway.
The Darth Vader mask is pretty sexy; that and the nose strip...you've got it goin' on Baby!
You said you do it mostly "on your back"?? Some women say they roll their husbands over to their side. (Your a pretty big guy to have to roll you on your side in a dead sleep!) Tell Sheila Good luck, or hand her a pair of ear plugs if all else fails. Sandy
wow I think the mask is the ticket. let me know where I can pick one up. I sometimes just tell Rocker in a very "kind" voice to roll over but since i have to get up at 4:30 am I am usually not so amused so a "gentle" nudge and some sort of "delicate" foot action takes place.
glad to see your back on the blogging circuit. how could you not be in that family?!
Sleep apnea can be rough. Dan has (might still have it, he hasn't done his follow up sleep study). His was the chicken and the egg thing. Carrying extra weight caused, having it and waking up exhausted help him keep the extra weight. Two years ago after his study, he had similar numbers as Ted, the ENT saw physically he had a small airway. Opened it up by taking out tonsils and uvula. Last year, Dan had his deviated septum fixed. Now he is dropping weight, sleeps and wakes up totally refreshed. I get more sleep cuz his snoring is not so earth shaking loud. Dan tried the cpap and hated it. Was up adjusting the straps to the face mask multiple times during the night. So ear plugs for Sheila and maybe visit an ENT for Ted.
I am sorry I can't help you. Gramps seldom snores and I only ocassionally wake myself up from my snoring.
I love that you went to the sleep lab for testing. This is actually what I do for a living (I do the testing and analysis), and although wearing the "Darth Vader" mask would have sucked in the lab; homecare companies (where you would buy a machine and mask) would be able to find you a way better mask fit/style. There is a lot out there to choose from. That being said, an Apnea index of 80/hour is very high, and downright dangerous and can lead to many more health problems as you get older.
Give you wife a good nights sleep and wear the mask. I always tell patients they can take it off for "relations", just so you know ;)
Oh, and at a very high amount of Apnea, the surgery from the ENT likely won't work (it works only occasionally as it is which sucks so bad). It is known as either LAUP or UPPP.
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